Lazy Failing High Schooler - What do we do?

What should I make my failing son do over the summer? He is in high school. He failed a lot of classes. He is not special ed. He is lazy.

First, he should attend summer school. If he is failing now, he is mapping a tough route for himself after high school. Focus on making him graduate. Before school is out, make an appointment with his high school counselor to see what he needs to do to graduate. At this point, you might need to explore the school district’s alternative high school. The kids that fail in high school sometimes need to go here to get the credits to graduate. Also, make him get a job, the tougher the better. If he can do any manual labor, hauling, loading, digging, outdoor physical work, sign him up. You need to show him that by failing classes, he is not destined for an office job. No one will hire a child to run an office if he cannot pass high school English or Math. Check to see if any grocery stores need cart retrievers. This is a tough job and it may open a door for a career for him later since grocery stores have positions he might be able to move into if he gets his act together.

Failing High School Students

Be careful when advising people to simply "blame" their kid’s problems on "learning problems". My kids is having much of the same issues [as the mom in your column last week], he's the same age and grade. But I see it as my lack of involvement is the real problem.

People have suggested that my son may have some learning problems, but I know this is nonsense due to his complete ability to do other things in life that "he wants to". He can operate a computer in the dark, if he needs to find the latest clothes or the latest skateboard, he has no "problem" then. My kid can do anything he wants when it is in "his" favor.

I suggest you tell that lady to be more active in the learning process, and not buy into the "learning problem” thing. Ask her if her kid gets things done when it's in the kid’s best interest? I bet you her kid has no problem then! Kids aren't dumb either. They pick up on this "learning problem" thing and use it as an excuse. One more sign that kids are "smart."

You make an excellent point and I thought I was clear last week. Last week, my words were, “If a child fails, it is an indication of either a learning problem or an active attempt to do nothing.” You have to rule out the learning problem because there are parents out there looking for excuses. Once you take away the excuse, you make more progress.

There are good parents out there with rules, expectations, and an understanding of their own children, yet their children are still failing. You sound like one of these parents. You have your child’s number, and you are not giving him wiggle room; yet he is not performing. There has to be a constant pursuit for change. Your child, and all children, cannot be allowed to fail. Failing an assignment is much different than failing a class. You cannot let a child flounder for whole semesters or years and still say they are learning from this method. I hope your child has no computer, fashionable clothes, or skateboards to turn to while he is turning away from books. Also (and this comes back to giving an excuse to kids, so you might not want to show him this comment), if your child excels at hands-on technical experiences but is not reading or writing on grade level, there can be learning deficits that should be explored. This does not mean that he should get away with it. His interests may have helped him build skills in one area while ignoring another, but he still needs to read and write. We all need that skill. If he needs remediation, find it for him while he is still in school.

HIV/AIDS prevention classes in K-12 schools

I have to write a letter to the school to get them not to teach my son about HIV and AIDS. How did we get to this immoral place?

The California Ed Code requires all schools to teach HIV/AIDS prevention at least once in junior high and at least once in high school. Ed Code also recognizes that parents have the right to excuse their children from this instruction. This is not a question of immorality, it is a question of making sure our children have all of the information and education we can give them to avoid this epidemic.

Centers for Disease Control (CDC) finds that half of the new HIV/AIDS cases each year are found in young people under the age of 25. California Ed Code demands HIV/AIDS education just as the CDC recommends.

If you choose to teach your children at home about the dangers and significance of HIV/AIDS, you are making a perfectly acceptable choice. Simply notify the school of your wishes, and they will abide by them.

Schools imparting this information to our youth are not acting immorally. They are acting responsibly.

High School Juniors should prepare FAFSA for college

It is almost time for High School seniors to fill out and turn in their FAFSA forms. Could you remind your readers how important it is that they turn this form in if they are hoping for any financial aid in college?

Over the holiday, many students and parents should sit down and figure out their tax information in order to prepare their Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) forms. In order to receive any federal financial aid, as well as many types of state student aid, families need to have this form filled out and turned in starting January 1st. The sooner the better is my philosophy. Students also need to check with the financial aid offices of the colleges they are considering to check on additional deadlines and forms these schools may require.

When you fill out the form, you can list up to six colleges, including junior colleges and four-year universities if you are trying to decide between the two. Some families decide to have their child attend community college in the hopes of saving money for the first two years. Regardless of the path your child is taking next year, fill out the form. There is money for kids attending junior college as well as universities.

You will never find what you do not seek.

For more information on the FAFSA and to apply on-line in January, go to http://www.fafsa.ed.gov . Visit the California Student Aid Commission for information on Cal Grants and other student aid information and timelines at http://www.csac.ca.gov .